Every Stitch a Blessing, Every Stitch a Prayer

This is not the post I'd hoped to begin the new year with. My dad’s health has been declining since Christmas, and sadly, he passed away last week. He suffered from Lewy Body Dementia, a debilitating neurological disease with symptoms similar to both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.

Dad died peacefully in his sleep while in the care of hospice. He was a devoted husband, great dad and grandfather, and all-around good guy who will be remembered for his cheerful, fun-loving spirit.

People manage grief in different ways. For me, it's natural to turn to needle and thread for solace. My needle got quite a workout in the mid-1990s when we lost several family members and friends within a few short years: a beloved aunt and uncle, my dear brother and his partner, a favorite grade school teacher, and the owner of the quilt shop where I worked. 

It was tempting to wallow in self-pity during those years, but I had to keep things together for my health and family’s sake. In true “fake it till you make it” fashion, quilting helped me cope with grief and loss.

I began by pulling fabrics from my scrap basket. I'd give them a casual trim with scissors and sort them into piles of light and dark strips. When there were enough pieces to run through the machine, I'd stitch them into "liberated" log cabin blocks. The beauty of working intuitively like this is how relaxing it is.

What started as mindless sewing, soon became a form of prayerful meditation. Snip, sort, sew. Snip, sort, sew. Gradually, the quiet focus and rhythmic hum of my machine began to mend my broken heart. 

I don't know how I'll feel about this quilt in the future. I like to think there's more healing in it than grief. Maybe I won't try to finish it -- just keep it for the next time I need some therapeutic sewing.

The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt:

Number of visitors to the Quilt: +18,000,000

Number of names on the Quilt: more than 91,000 (representing only about 18% of all U.S. AIDS deaths)

Size: 1,293,300 square feet (6 city blocks)

Viewing time: To see the entire Quilt spending only one minute per panel - over 33 days

Total Weight: More than 54 tons

Last Full Display: The Mall in Washington, D.C. in 1996

Goal of the Quilt: to honor and remember those who've died of AIDS, to bring awareness to how massive the AIDS pandemic really is, and to bring support and healing to those affected by it.

These are the panels I made to honor my brother, Wayne Hanson and his partner, Don Melvin, who died of AIDS in the mid 1990's. Each individual panel measures 3 feet by 6 feet (roughly the size of a grave).

Eight panels are combined into 12 by 12 foot units that make up the massive quilt.

If you ever get an opportunity to view a portion of the NAMES Quilt in person, don't hesitate. You'll find it a powerfully moving experience.