Page Fright!

My friend Julie, editor of Designers’ Quarters quilt magazine, asked me to write a column about my experience as a quilter with Multiple Sclerosis. I feel more comfortable working “behind the scenes” as a pattern proofreader, but decided it was a good way to increase awareness of what seems to be an increasingly common disease.

The thought of having my words appear in print started giving me page fright. So, I decided to look at the assignment as a blog post, to be read by only a handful of my most faithful blogging buddies. That got the words flowing all right. Only now, I’m actually going to impose upon you to read the essay. Thanks!

Pins and Needles

Ask any quilter what “pins and needles” mean to her and she’ll reply that they’re indispensable sewing tools. Ask me the same question and I’ll be more likely to describe a peculiar “pins and needles” sensation in my hands and feet. It’s just one of many symptoms such as numbness, weakness, dizziness and fatigue associated with Multiple Sclerosis, a potentially disabling disease of the central nervous system.

When I was diagnosed ten years ago, I became one of at least 300,000 Americans afflicted with MS, more than half of whom are women. Many of us are also quilters, understandably concerned about this unpredictable disease impacting our needle skills. In my case, I’ve lost much of the strength and dexterity needed to quilt, but I’ve never lost my passion to create.

I’ve learned to quilt in new ways, adapting sewing tools and techniques to my changing physical needs. A new sewing machine with loads of stitches has replaced the sewing I’d previously done by hand. My physical therapist introduced me to ergonomic sewing tools and was even able to modify my rotary cutter to make it easier to use. The latest fabrics are conveniently delivered to my door with one catalog or Internet order. But it’s my friends who really keep me quilting, with their willingness to do those things I can no longer do alone. All it takes is a phone call and they’re here to help cut fabric, press blocks, stitch bindings or finish some long neglected project that I just can’t manage myself. These gracious women inspire, encourage and motivate me to keep stitching.

I used to worry that I’d have to give up quilting because of Multiple Sclerosis. Instead, I’ve found that my strong passion to create actually helps me cope with the challenges of MS. Quilting gives me a positive outlook, a sense of purpose and pride, and a connection with other creative women. And that “pins and needles” sensation? I still get it from time to time, only now it’s in anticipation of my next quilt project!

Perfect From The Start

Remember the awkwardness of learning a new skill as a child, like struggling with clumsy fingers to tie a shoelace, or write in flowing cursive, or use both hands to play a simple tune on the piano? For years, I was convinced I had a klutz gene, when what I really lacked was the patience to practice. Why couldn't I just be perfect from the start?

As a novice quilter, I often felt “all thumbs.” In fact, the first time I tried a thimble, it refused to stay on my finger, let alone push the needle through all three layers of quilt. And what about those impossibly tiny, even stitches I’d read about—twelve to the inch! REALLY? Perhaps this wasn't the hobby for me, because I still wanted to be perfect from the start. 

Now, I'm a seasoned quilt maker and my thimble feels like a second skin. I've made many quilts over the years, all with small, even stitches. The handcraft has brought me nothing but joy. Unfortunately, Multiple Sclerosis has sapped the energy, strength and dexterity I need to continue quilting.

My advice to anyone coping with an impairment like MS is to continue doing what you’re passionate about in any way you can. Stay creative! Since I can’t sew with needle and thread any more, I’m going to try stitching words and pictures together, to chronicle the quilts I've made and collected through the years.

While I’m at it, I might as well give blogging a try. It feels a bit awkward, writing for an audience that may not even exist. So, if you stumble across Persnickety Quilts, why not leave a comment and let me know you're out there? I'd love to hear from you. Together, we can make this perfect from the start!